Mother Nature

Dear Fertility God, Regular God, Mother Nature, or To Whom It May Concern (including Oprah),

I understand that you’re busy. You have large responsibilities and a lot of things going on right now. I understand if you’re working on the oil spill, curing diseases and figuring who will take over for Oprah Winfrey after she leaves the network. I get it. You’re busy. But listen. There are a lot of us out there who really want to be mothers and we know we would make very good parents. We have gotten a taste of infertility (and it tastes awful) but we are ready to move forward to a pregnancy and a baby. We know that infertility has made us stronger and more sensitive, and we promise that we will cherish our babies every single day and give hope to others struggling with infertility.

But serious, Fertility God/Mother Nature, infertility is making us weird. We spend too many hours staring at the toilet paper, charting our basal temperature, googling our fake pregnancy symptoms and crying at baby showers. We use words like “ovulation” and "cervical mucus" like they are apart of normal conversation. Infertility is truly making us weird and we aren’t weird people. Just pointing out that it doesn’t serve society well when people are weird.

Mother Nature, from one mother to another, you know a lot about fertilization and we could really use that knowledge right about now. Next time, you fertilize something, consider throwing a little soil our way. Thank you for your consideration.

Yours Truly,

An Infertile

Beta = A Big Fat Fuck You

Negative.

Beta Tomorrow

I don't know how I feel about this to be honest with you. I'm so use to either seeing or hearing that I'm not pregnant that I have already convinced myself that this cycle didn't work. Dan said I'm willing the babies away lol. I can't believe that I haven't taken a test by now but I don't know I just rather wait until my beta and see what it says. I'm trying to stay positive but it's just damn hard. What I do know is that if it doesn't work we will just pick up the pieces and start all over again. I will most likely take a break and cycle again in November since we are going away next month and we have a wedding and a party in October.

I don't even know what else to say because after a while you kind of get numb to the situation. "Oh I'm not pregnant Oh Ok" that's how I've been since we started this process so long ago. I want nothing more than for this cycle to be different, to finally be able to say that yes I am pregnant. I guess only tomorrow will tell.

5 Day Transfer Here I Come!!!!

I can not believe that we are getting pushed back to a five day. I got the call this morning that out of the nine embryos we currently have five have made it to the eight cell stage. I seriously can not believe that we are getting pushed back. I go Wednesday at 9:45 to see how many we are going to put back in but right now we are thinking two.

Egg Retrieval Was Nothing

So I had my egg retrieval yesterday and it's just getting easier and easier. Don't get me wrong it still freaks me out to get put to sleep but I tell you it's the best sleep I get. Right before I went off to la la land the nurses, my doctor, and a resident were talking about the show Jersey Shore and right as I was about to say something I was out. The only thing I remember is waking up and thinking I was either watching the show or in the show but either way it was pretty funny.

So in my haze my nurse tells me they retrieved 12 eggs. I was beyond excited to say the least, I really thought I wouldn't have got that many but when she told me I was thrilled. So after I start to come out of it more the nurse brings Dan back into the room to hang out with me while I'm fully awake. I lay there for about ten minutes and then I'm ready to get up get dressed and use the ladies room. After I use the restroom we are ready to go home, I couldn't wait to get in my bed and just relax. We get home about 1ish and I make the round of call mom, bff, cousins. Dan brings me some lunch and I take a nice nap for about two hours or so.

The rest of the night was uneventful, we just hung out watched some tv and I headed to bed early. Woke up this morning crazy early fearing that I would miss the call from my doctors office telling me how many of my eggs fertilized. I got the call around 10:15 that 9 out of 12 eggs fertilized. I couldn't believe it when she told me. I love me some goods but this, this is fantastic news. Right now the date for my transfer is Monday but she seems to think I could be pushed back until Wednesday. Either way I'm so happy with the results of this cycle. Now all I would need is to get that call telling me I'm pregnant and life would be grand but I won't know that until the 27th.

Here's to hoping this is our cycle.

We Are Ready To Stim!

I just got the call from my nurse that my blood work came back perfectly. I'm ready to start shooting up! I go back to the doctor on Friday to check to see how I'm doing. Will update on Friday when I get back from the doctor.

Ultrasound and Blood Work Tomorrow

So I'm going in tomorrow for my routine blood work and ultrasound. Nothing crazy exciting, they just check to make sure I don't have any cysts on my ovaries and do some blood work. Then the fun stuff start, I start all the stimulation medicine. Woohoo gotta stock up on the gatorade now (gatorade helps you to not develop ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome)

I'm also going to ask if they received any word about my biopsy. Hopefully everything in fine in that department. I'm sure if things weren't on the up and up I would have received a call by now.