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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Back From Vacation & A Reality Check

Vacation was great, we had great weather and a great time. I really couldn't have asked for a more perfect week away with Dan and Bella.

I came back and I was feeling great! I got a new haircut which I love, I was in a good mental state and I actually forgot about infertility until I stepped into my doctors office for my WTF appointment. I felt like I got slapped back into reality real quick. My doctor walks into the room and the first thing he says is "I'm so depressed over your cycle" *insert blank stare here* I then replied "join the fucking club."

He said my last cycle was perfect, I had great blasts and that there is really no reason why it didn't work. I just don't know what to say about that to be honest. He suggested trying yoga or acupuncture, I have no problem with doing yoga but I know acupuncture is not covered by my insurance and it can get pretty expensive. I'm going to call this one place my doctor suggested tomorrow and I will see what he has to say. If it's too much money sorry doc but I'm not doing it.

I feel really frustrated about this whole thing really. To not have answers as to why it's not working, to be told that I had a "text book" perfect cycle but he doesn't know why it didn't work it makes you question if you're really suppose to be a mother. What do I do from here? We are going to try again but I only have this cycle and another one before it's over. What happens if it doesn't work? Do we go on and live without kids? Yes we would adopt but seriously who has 30 g's just laying around doing nothing with? not myself.

I guess I can only take it one day at a time and see what happens.

1 comment:

Megan said...

I don't know what to say except I'm so sorry, Love. I really wish the dr would just figure out why its not working. There has to be some sort of reason why. **HUGS** its gotta happen, right? I'm praying for you guys!
as for the adoption thing, maybe you'll find a young and pg teen willing to just hand over baby? Not really sure about the whole process, but I'm praying for an answer for you!

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