I have imagined what my life would be like if I had no children. To go through the rest of my life without ever being pregnant, ever being a mother, living alone with only my husband. I love my husband very much but if it was only going to be the two of us for the next 40 years, I might just cry right now. Let me paint you a picture of what my life would be like without kids.
MY LIFE WITHOUT CHILDREN
Starring Me and My Husband
It is a Saturday morning, me and my 40 year old husband are sleeping late because we went to an all night club and we are both very hungover. All our other friends left the bar by 10pm to get home for the babysitter but not the two of us! We ordered more tequila shots and partied with some guy named ‘Big Billie’ until the wee hours of the morning. But it’s Saturday morning and we have nothing to do all day. I might not even take a shower all weekend! Without the cost of children, Dan and I have purchased a mansion, equipped with a maid and a Swedish pool boy named Sven. Dan has purchased his dream convertible and I quit my job with my extra wealth. During the weekdays, we both eat potato chips and cupcakes for dinner and drink 5-10 cups of coffee a day. Tuesday evenings are a big night for us both, starting with our 7pm knitting club, followed by a TV marathon of ‘Deal or No Deal.’ Our friends might invite us over for dinner and they brag about their children’s new jobs or weddings. Dan and I smile politely and dream about our upcoming vacation to Paris. We are known in our circle of friends as the couple who decided never to have children. I never correct people or tell them the truth. I just eat extra dessert because, out of all my friends, I still look amazing in a bathing suit and have zero stretch marks. As I age, I enjoy my remaining years in a luxury retirement village off the coast of Mexico while my other friends live in their grown children’s basements. I leave everything in my will to my local library. The library dedicates the infertility book section in our names. And that is our legacy.
See. Being childless doesn’t sound so bad…. Right?....Wrong
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