In the first volume of Shut The Fuck Up And Stop Whining Before I Punch You In The Fucking Face, I discussed the importance of time management. Reading it back, I have decided that I am unhappy with the use of the word volume. A more proper word, in my esteemed opinion, is installment. However, I cannot change Volume 2 to Installment 2 because Volume 1 must remain Volume 1. Due to my compulsive need for this to match up. I simply cannot have the words installment and volume scattered about in the same series. I fully understand that I have the ability to go back and edit the first installment of Shut The Fuck Up And Stop Whining Before I Punch You In The Fucking Face. Replacing Volume 1 with Installment 1 would be really easy but, I am fucking lazy. I don't feel like taking 30 fucking seconds out of my day to make that correction, which raises the next topic.
It could be said that laziness is a plague on society. It is a plague of which I, begrudgingly admit, sometimes suffer from. Laziness can be split into two categories. The first category is Sporadic Laziness. I feel that this type best describes me. I feel that after a full five day work week , working at work, working at home, working on shit on Saturday afternoons and drinking on Saturday evenings entitles me to a bit of laziness on fucking Sunday. If you too fall under the category of Sporadic Laziness, and you find that others often bust your balls about lounging around one day out of the fucking week in your fucking panties, then do what I do. Say, "Fuck off, you fucking fuck." Don't stand for their incessant whining. Don't allow them to bark orders at you. Crack open a beer, pour yourself some scotch or whatever the fuck it is that you like and say, "Hey, bitch face, get the fuck out of my face before I punch you in the fucking kidney"
The second category of laziness is Chronic Lack of Motivation, also knows as Good For Nothing Lazy Ass Mother Fucker Syndrome. Good For Nothing Lazy Ass Mother Fucker Syndrome can and does directly coincide with lack of time management skills. If you can recall, I stated in the previous installment of Shut The Fuck Up And Stop Whining Before I Punch You In The Fucking Face that tardiness and absenteeism are harshly frowned upon. When my plans get postponed or cancelled due to Good For Nothing Lazy Ass Mother Fucker Syndrome, heads start rolling. Horse Heads. Peoples Heads. Heads. Heads. Heads. I'm totally "Queen Of Heart" like that.
The characteristics of category two laziness is as followed:
-You are too un-fucking-motived to scratch your own ass.
Reading back, I noticed that in the second paragraph, I implied that I am only lazy one day out of the week that day, being Sunday. In the first paragraph, I stated that I am too lazy to go back and replace Volume 1 for Installment 1, which blatantly disprove my statement in the second paragraph, for today is not Sunday, but Saturday. I am making a mention of this because I know some asshole is going read this and say "Hey she's a fucking liar" to which I would have to say "Fuck you. Who's blog is this?" And then a juvenile war of words would ensue, which I would ultimately claim victory.
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