Shut The Fuck Up And Stop Whining. .

In today's society, you will find a tremendous amount of stress cast upon your shoulders. Often times, you may ask yourself, "How many burdens can one person carry?" With the stresses of work, or lack there of, and family, this question is quite justified. I know from personal experience, the trials and tribulations that life hurls at you.

Volume One of Shut The Fuck Up And Stop Whining Before I Punch You In The Fucking Face explores the issue of time management. Managing time is an important concept that eludes many. One should think that since the invention of calendars, a person would easily balance their schedules by noting the event, appointment, or what have you, inside the little fucking square designated to the day and number which represent a fucking date. It isn't fucking rocket science. Fuck Blackberries and electronic date organizers. Those little fuckers are designed to piss people off and make shit confusing. Go get your ass a damn pen or a pencil, even a crayon will do, and write the shit that is so fucking important to you down on the calendar. Fuck, you can prick your fucking finger and make a notation in blood for all I care.

Tardiness is absolutely unacceptable to me. I could not give a shit less for your excuses unless you are dying or taking the initiative to stop by the fucking store to purchase booze. If I have plans to do something with you and you do not manage your time well, it ultimately affects me. Why is that so fucking hard to understand? The later you are, the more drunk I become, which really cuts the chances that I will be in a suitable state to mingle in public. It's a lose/lose situation, and it is all of your fucking fault.

To stand me up is highly dangerous. Whether you forget to write our date down on the fucking calendar or you were under the mistaken impression that standing me up to do something with someone else would be more fun, you are going to find a severed horse head tucked in nice and snug at the foot of your bed. I'm totally "God Father" gangsta like that.

If you would like to avoid as many complications in your life as possible, all you need to do is put some good time management skills to use. If you do this, you can alleviate a large sum of the burdens that weigh on your weak, weak shoulders. And remember, if all else fails, take a deep, relaxing breath and shut the fuck up and stop whining.