As we were talking I was saying how annoyed I was at myself for not going to college. It's not that I didn't get in any where it's just that I got a job right out of high school making more money than any eighteen year old I knew. It was the first time I didn't have to rely on my parents to get me what I needed. When September came around and school was starting I made the very stupid decision to not attend. I didn't start to regret my decision to not attend college until about a year ago when we moved to our current city. The jobs are few and far between here, the majority of the jobs here are in hospitals and with no college degree you can't touch one of those jobs.
After talking for awhile about our upcoming IVF cycle and the fact that when I did get a job my paycheck would be going to daycare we decided that I will be a stay at home mom. At first I was thrilled, I get to watch my child(ren) grow up and not miss a single second. I then started to think that although it will be fantastic to stay home with them I also love to work. I know some people are probably saying that I'm crazy, that they would love to stay at home but I've never been that type. I like going into work and learning new things and working a nine hour day. Sensing that something was wrong he asked why I wasn't jumping up and down at the thought of never having to work again. I explained how I felt about working and again about going to college ,he then suggests that I can get a part time job or go back to school. I feel like I'm torn I want to be able to stay home and be a fantastic mother when the time comes and I also want to go back to school.I know I can always do online course which is something we talked about as well. I know we have time to talk about it and go over all of our options but I can't help but think that either road I take will be great.
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