Time Just Isn't Going Fast Enough.

It feels like February will never get here. With the holidays just around the corner I can't help but to feel a pang of sadness thinking about seeing my family on Christmas Eve with their children. Laughing, smiling and just being all around happy. My husband and I are the only ones who do not have kids so you can imagine what it's like walking into my parents house and seeing nothing but kids running around waiting for Santa to get there.

I always allow myself the first day at the start of a new cycle to be completely and utterly miserable after that I suck it up and keep going. I don't allow myself to wallow in my misery for more than one day. It's just not healthy for me but that doesn't mean on some random Tuesday I don't feel like I can break down at some commercial about some sort of baby product. I do have to say that my family is very understanding about what I'm going through. Maybe it's because I don't let infertility take over my life or maybe it's because I do have a good attitude about it. I don't know. All I do know is that some days I feel like IVF will give us our baby and others I feel like my struggle is just beginning. I know in the end that I will be a mother one way or another it just feels like time isn't going fast enough.

I wish when we were going through all of our testing that my doctor turned to me and would have said xyz is the reason why you aren't getting pregnant. Instead it was us being classified as unexplained infertility. For me I think it would have been easier to hear that there was some sort of problem as to why it wasn't working out instead of just having no reason at all.